Mmmm. What’s better than one mascot to convince you you can get all you utilities through one power company?
Caught somewhere between the instantly dis-likable CGI Andrex puppies and that hateful meerkat, EON have launched this trio of nodding and wagging twats to front one of the most badly thought out and ill conceived ad campaigns of all time.
First up, it’s an anorexic Churchill-esque dog, called Porbis. Having warped numerous car boot lids, the guys in planning have decided to go with a fat-free alternative. And to give him an extra dimension, moving away from his tradition binary responses, he can now say maybe. For example “Errr…maybe.”
Second to the table, Crabston the fox. Pretty weird, sure. But certainly less haunting than that bushy tailed bingo lover that you can’t help having all those strange, yet exciting, sexual thoughts about.
Finally, my favourite. The leader of the pack. A real curve ball, and the character that brings the whole campaign together…
Introducing, Chando, the duck with two bills.
Voiced unammusingly by the Chuckle Brothers, Chando is the fulcrum of the campign…
Most of the time the two beaks are in constant dis-agreement with each other. Constantly arguing over anything and everything, winding everyone within a 100 yards right up. The dog and fox’s efforts mainly revolve around trying to convince Chando there’s no need to argue.
Unbelievably tenuously the strap line is,
‘Why let 2 bills annoy you? Get your gas and electricity with EON.”
Well, fuck my old boots and give me a pay rise…
When Findus came to Chub to launch their Al-Dente bean café ‘Bean Masion’, the phrase, “We need to cut through the clutter” was blurted out by a tired graduate at the brainstorm. It was at that monet that the creative ooze of team Linda’s Bellingham and Barker started to seep out everywhere.
Findus’ brand guidelines (created by Chub) state that every piece of communication must feature the nameless centaur and manticore duo that represent Findus’ core values (affordability and crispiness). That, coupled with Chub’s vast experiential expertise meant only one execution beckoned.
Loosely based on a frank verbal exchange between Lou and Harold over an unpaid bar tab at Lassiters, Findus brings a mixture of action and dancing to the Claremont Pier, Lowestoft.
Throughout an often unintentionally hilarious 2 hour set, the duo waltz between giant, spinning light projections of Jim Robinson and Bouncer the dog whilst arguing the toss over a 70 cent cola. The audience watch on in horror and bemusement as they are showered with a mix of virtual 3D and genuine real-life beans.
The show finishes when a giant crispy pancake, captained by the ghost of Joe Mangle- waving a massive clam, floats into view off the pier.
Having blown the entire budget on the lavish production and the haunting animatronic costumes there was unfortunately only £50 to plough into the promotion through social media. Ever the pioneers though, Chub decided to set up both characters’ profiles on Friends Reunited.
The results are expected sometime next week…
That’s right. Nothing really makes you want to pack your bags and head for sunnier climbs than the thought of 2 amputees floating, side by side, lifelessly in a swimming pool.
But when you realise the woman has fashioned her tits into water wings, is wearing a thong made from matted dog hair, and the guy’s left hand has been replaced by a penis, you suddenly find yourself idly flicking through those Thomas Cook brochures…
Mmmm, wish I was there…
When European car manufacturer Opal wanted to launch their new executive saloon the ‘Shapiro’ to the booming Eastern bloc market they required class, sophistication and wit.
When briefed to come up with the goods, Swedish super grads, Jorg and Olaf, working for Amsterdam pop up agency ‘Argh’, trawled the web looking for the smartest thing they could find.
It was Frasier.
After much consultation David Hyde Pearce and Kelsy Grammer finally agreed to reprise their roles as Doctors Niles and Frasier Crane. However, with legal bods threatening over copyright, they opted to give the whole thing a twist.
Step forth ‘Froosier’, a Geiger inspired, animated reworking of the 90s classic. Broadcast as 6 web-isodes, the alien duo ponder positive social aspects of owning a new Shapiro. Episode 1 goes a little something like this…
“Say Froosier, I’ve heard the air con in the new Shapiro is so chilly, last time I got in I said ‘I’m going for a drive, I may be some time.’”
“Oh Miles, what an abstract reference!”
“Damn you Froosier…”
Focus groups panned the lacklustre script and threatened legal action if changes weren’t made there and then. Panicking, Jorg and Olaf, opted to include the character of Eddie the dog, but with time against them could only mange to graft him on to Froosier’s head as a simple smiley face. They compensated for this by giving his VO to Richard Blackwood, who’d be constantly repeating the anecdote about the time he got mistaken for Andi Peters in a Wagamama.
Despite this, viewers switched off in their thousands, and even the 11th hour edition of a wise-cracking sausage appearing from Froosier’s mouth couldn’t stop the project from being binned after only 2 episodes.